theres so much to say

i cant even begin to tell whats going on in my mind....this summer has been amazing! theres been so much I've done! This will probably be a very long post but i don't want to write in a journal so I'm writing it here and people can actually read this one without me having to chase to out of all my other entries. but here it goes...
I have dreams( i don't like calling them goals) the top ones lately have been to get better at saxophone, Become the sax section leader, and being famous. the last one is why I'm also writing here. I want to be known. I want to be that one girl who people will remember which is pretty easy but i don't really want to be remembered for my hair and my hair only. i want to be remembered for the way i write or some amazing photo or best of all a good friend. that's something else i figured out...its really hard for me to make friends...i don't know why it just is. Its been this way for awhile. Oh and one more other "problem" i have ...God. What if its just something that we all want to believe in but its not true i know that its "wrong" to question your faith but too late I'm already on it. but really I just don't know anymore. I know that i don't want to be atheist but i want something to believe in other than god. cuz i feel like people put too much time and effort into it that it make the whole Christian faith too hard to believe in. maybe its just me and if your reading this and your christian don't get offended. that's also something else about this whole thing. Judgement. Come on! it says don't judge but everyone continues to! I'm just so sick of it. maybe its a good thing I'm going to chic.
I don't know what else i should put here because I'm pretty sure i've done enough ranting to get me in some trouble. so i guess my mark here has been cut.

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